I remember our concern being that she was still young and attractive, and that grey hair would mark her out as old and negate some of her appeal. Who were we scared for, her, or us? It helps to focus on this. Billions of women have gone grey over the centuries, though they have also dyed their hair see Cleopatra. That does seem to be changing, albeit minimally. I created a Pinterest inspiration page, with a range of people from high-fashion Daphne Guinness to intellectual heavyweight Christine Lagarde.
I averted my gaze from the blondes, reds and brunettes and focused on myriad different combinations of grey. My confidence improved. But watching the hashtag greyhairdontcare did help in the end. Ignore posts by young women who have dyed their hair grey. Look at the real greys, see what works. Grey hair demands a shift in style and grooming habits. By casting a ruthless eye over other women, I was able to help make sense of my own style goals.
But no one needs to know that. Josh does not colour my hair personally but I enjoyed talking to him about colouring trends. He will never run out of clients. As you have read this far, I am going to tell you a secret. I am a cheat. This is a two- or three-times-a-year commitment. This, I can handle. No one said this article was about going grey gracefully.
So I have to admit, I cheated some more. My hormones are retreating, taking with them the plumping collagen from my face. This, I realised, was more ageing than the grey, which, truth be told, suited my year-old skin better than the pricey fake brown.
By month eight, I was OK with the hair. It was more me. What was harder to live with is that age had made my face longer, flatter, thinner and my chin more pointy. Some days my skin and hair together were a cruel pairing and I could remedy this with a little make-up. Having a tan was a joy. Though short lived. A dab of black eyeliner brought out the devil horns of white hair and made my eyes bluer. Strong lipsticks worked for me in a way they never had as a brunette.
Still, I had days when I just felt so haggard. On those days I might as well have been the green-skinned Wicked Witch of the West. That long face bothered me more than the grey ever could. I hunted for the right person and found Tracy Mountford, who is well known for making ageing TV presenters look naturally done.
I told her I was on a budget. She prescribed a minimal intervention that required two 3ml syringes of filler to put a bit of width, rather than volume, back in my face, and a dab of Botox to relax the muscle that was making my witchy chin.
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And Spicer brings it off with a winning mixture of caustic self-awareness and bristling social observation.
But I want to know if she thinks she would have held things together. As she insists on responding to every false sighting of the dog, the strain between her and boyfriend threatens to be terminal. They seem permanently to be one bust-up from a total break-up. That was the best way I could do it and not fuck with him. Though dogs are a common enough feature of modern life, the deep emotional attachment that people feel to them is still a slightly taboo subject.
It is a jarring moment, because you realise that she cares more about her missing dog than she does for her dead friend. We went to a wedding at the weekend and he was so triggered by it. She has made three acclaimed documentaries in the last ten years all of which still air internationally, including most recently Mission to Lars, described as 'beautiful' by the New York Times. A Dog Named Beautiful is the true story of an unbreakable bond between man and his dog, and how this bond eased the pain of a man living with poor mental health.
Here, author Rob Kugler discusses the emotional journey he has been on over the years, the ups and downs, the importance of mental health, and how crucial it is for men in particular to speak up about their issues. Me and My Dog presenter Chris Packham describes the pain he felt at losing his beloved dog Itchy - and how he knows that his other dog, Scratchy, shares his sense of loss.
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